Keys to the Mind

During my How to Read People and Stay Out of Trouble presentation the other day, a big smile came upon me. One of the exercises had audience members pair up and role-play a sales person and client conversation. The purpose is to watch for eye movement in the client to underkeys-smallstand what parts of their memory they are accessing. One of the ladies was doing a marvelous job of verbally leading the client where she wanted them to go.

Using the right words and questions, a person can be led down a thought path. For example if you ask someone about their children, they typically will not reply about their favorite sports team. I inserted “typically” because there may be a connection in the person’s mind between their favorite sports team and their children.

This works with key words as well. If you want a client to access their feelings, a car salesman could ask; “How would you feel every morning to have that new Maserati parked in your garage?” I’m sure a couple of you reading this post got a feeling.

I bet you are asking; “What would prompt the car salesman to ask this question in the first place?” If you watch people’s eyes they move in different directions when they access memories. When they look up, they are recalling an image. When they look to the side, they are recalling a sound. When they look down, they are recalling a feeling. If your client/customer is looking down most of the time, he is lead primarily by his feelings in that situation. Asking a feeling oriented question allows the client/customer to maximally integrate into the process.

Always remember that people use all three modes to store information. Therefore it’s important to include all three, visual, audio and emotional (feeling) when working with people. Timing your wording with their eye movements is a very powerful way to connect with your client/customer. Once you get to know them, you can open their mental doors with key words and question like my star pupil did during that presentation.